Shoot Me, I’m Online Dating (7)

Help! Profile pictures confuse me. Many men  are wearing sunglasses, often standing in front of a car next to a large dog. Let’s think about this for a moment. Here is the first picture a potential dating friend sees. But what opens on the computer is disappointing–a blurry photo of a man wearing dark glasses.

I can only guess that a man signed up for dating site  would want to attract as many views as possible. But somehow, word has gotten out that wearing dark glasses, is a sure-fire way to court love. I’m not certain what marketing firm or social media outlet is spreading this vile message, but it is without any foundation whatsoever. Believe me. Unless you are Paul Newman, wearing over-sized aviator glasses does not a cool profile picture make.

Didn’t anyone learn in high school literature classes that “the eyes are the window to your soul?” So  by wearing eye-covering apparel, a person has pulled down the blinds.

I believe many men in the fifty and upwards set, think this is totally cool. Why? Because there are also photos from the man’s youth–on the beach, standing with buddies at a football game, or engaged in outdoor sports activities. The purpose, I believe, is to allow a glimpse of how an individual used to appear, and his connection to the heavier, balder, and more wrinkled guy of today. Who knows? Maybe in the future, we will be able to post time lapse photos of ourselves. But why would we want to? Watch the breasts droop, the skin wrinkle, the stomach protrude over the belt?

The truth is that most of us think of ourselves as being at least ten or twenty years younger than we really are. When I wash my face in the morning, do I look at a middle-aged woman in the mirror? Of course not. I look at myself with flawless skin.

So here’s the hard part. Even if we wish to fool ourselves, we can’t fool everyone else around us.

So please post a clear picture of yourself, and I will do the same. I’d like to see your eyes, and even better, your smile. I don’t mind if you want your car or dog in the picture.

I am not interested in dating either one of them.

Send me your online dating stories!

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About Lenore Weiss

Lenore's collections include "Tap Dancing on the Silverado Trail" (2011) from Finishing Line Press, “Sh’ma Yis’rael” (2007) from Pudding House Publications, and "Cutting Down the Last Tree on Easter Island" (West End Press, 2012). Her writing has won recognition from Poets&Writers (finalist in California Voices contest) and as a finalist for Pablo Neruda Prize, Nimrod International Journal. The Society for Technical Communication has recognized her work regarding Technical Literacy in the schools. All material is copyrighted on this site and cannot be used without the author's permission.
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